Divorcing a Parent: Free Yourself from the Past and Live the Life You've Always Wanted

Divorcing a Parent: Free Yourself from the Past and Live the Life You've Always Wanted 

By Beverly Engel M F C C (Author). (2014).

Learning to Leave: A Women's Guide Books

 

Learning to Leave: A Women's Guide Books

By Lynette Triere and Richard Peacock. (1993) 

Divorce & New Beginnings: A Complete Guide to Recovery, Solo Parenting, Co-Parenting, and Stepfamilies

Divorce & New Beginnings: A Complete Guide to Recovery, Solo Parenting, Co-Parenting, and Stepfamilies

By Genevieve Clapp, PhD. (2000).

 

Divided Sisters

 

Divided Sisters

By Midge Wilson, PhD. and Kathy Russell (1997).

Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder)

Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder)

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

Dissociative identity disorder, formerly referred to as multiple personality disorder, is characterized by a person's identity fragmenting into two or more distinct personality states. People with this condition are often victims of severe abuse.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/dissociative-identity-disorder-multiple-personality-disorder

Depression in Men

Depression in Men

Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Help for Male Depression

Feeling depressed isn’t a sign of weakness and you don’t have to tough it out. These tips can help you overcome depression and start feeling happier and more hopeful today.

By Lawrence Robinson, Melinda Smith, M.A. and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/depression/depression-in-men

 

Coping with a Breakup or Divorce

Coping with a Breakup or Divorce

Grieving a Relationship

When a relationship ends, healing can take time. These tips can help you grieve your loss and start to move on.

By Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Gina Kemp, M.A. and Melinda Smith, M.A.

https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/dealing-with-a-breakup-or-divorce

Daughters of Unloving Mothers: 7 Common Wounds

Daughters of Unloving Mothers: 7 Common Wounds

A lack of confidence and an inability to trust are just the beginning.

By Peg Streep, Tech Support

April 30, 2013

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support/201304/daughters-unloving-mothers-7-common-wounds

Daddy Issues: Psychology, Causes, Signs, Treatment

 

                                                                                 Hispanolistic / Getty Images

Daddy Issues: Psychology, Causes, Signs, Treatment

By Barbara Field / Reviewed by Daniel B. Block, MD

Updated July 19, 2024

https://www.verywellmind.com/is-there-real-psychology-behind-daddy-issues-5190477

My Princess Boy (A mom's story about a young boy who loves to dress up.)

 

My Princess Boy (A mom's story about a young boy who loves to dress up.) 

By Cheryl Kilodavis (Author). (2010).

Letting ‘Princess Boys’ Be …Themselves?

Letting ‘Princess Boys’ Be …Themselves?

January 4, 2011 

Heard on Tell Me More

 

https://www.npr.org/2011/01/04/132652507/letting-princess-boys-be-themselves

“That Just Means He Likes You”

“That Just Means He Likes You”

March 26, 2013 - Last updated on: January 26, 2016 at 2:57 pm

By Libby Anne

 

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2013/03/that-just-means-he-likes-you.html

Is Depression a Feminist Issue

 Is Depression a Feminist Issue

Dr. Jessica Coblentz, Assistant Professor of Theology at St. Mary’s College (Indiana) will offer a perspective from Feminist Theology. Copies of Dr. Coblentz’s recent book, Dust in the Blood: A Theology of Life with Depression are available in the Women’s Center (Leavey 327) for all those interested in reading her book.

Gender Justice Initiative

Georgetown University

genderjustice@georgetown.edu

https://genderjustice.georgetown.edu/event-announcements/gji-events/lectures/is-depression-a-feminist-issue/

Therapy for People of Color: Questions for Potential Therapists

Therapy for People of Color: Questions for Potential Therapists

By Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC

July 31, 2017

3 minute read

 

https://www.talkspace.com/blog/therapy-for-people-of-color-questions-for-potential-therapists/

Is Depression a Feminist Issue? Video

 Is Depression a Feminist Issue? A Response from Feminist Theology with Dr. Jessica Coblentz

Georgetown University Women's Center

 

https://youtu.be/-zJ8mmZNO6w?si=VA4S3WaWt5Wk9Owq

Various words of wisdom I've come across and like

 The Second Wound is for every survivor whose loved ones failed to support them and instead, added to their pain and trauma. You are not alone. 

You ARE worthy of respect, compassion, and love. 

          By Miranda Pacchiana, MSW

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s hard to feel worthy of love and protection when the people who are supposed to love and protect you the most turn their backs on you for telling the truth.

secondwound.com

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fear makes us afraid of the dark

Shame makes us afraid of the light.

        From Harriet Lerner, from the Dance of Fear

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If people don’t believe you, one of three things might be happening:

1 They are abusers, themselves

2 They are being abused

3 They are benefitting from the environment.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t goin’ away.”

Elvis Presley

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No matter how long you’ve traveled in the wrong direction, you can always turn around. 

          Hopeandhealingcounselor – Instagram

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you talk to God, you are praying. 

If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.

Thomas Szasz

 

 

 

 

If He's Mean To You That Just Means He Likes You

 If He's Mean To You That Just Means He Likes You

The most untrue thing I was ever told as a little girl.

 By Ashley Patek

 

https://genmindful.com/blogs/mindful-moments/stop-saying-hes-mean-to-you-because-he-likes-you?srsltid=AfmBOorfzdqOMEmBa5RGSTy2yQjzIibCC9eJ8E6DbgwXZYLRWumutjCb

Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead 

By Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW. (2017).

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"

By Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW. (2007)

Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

 

Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect

By Jonice Webb, PhD, with Christine Musello, PsyD (Contributor). (2012).

Trust After Trauma: A Guide to Relationships for Survivors and Those Who Love Them

 

Trust After Trauma: A Guide to Relationships for Survivors and Those Who Love Them 

By Aphrodite T. Matsakis, PhD (Author). (1998).

I Can't Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors

 

I Can't Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors

By Aphrodite T. Matsakis, PhD. (1996).

I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace With Mom--Before It's Too Late

I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace With Mom--Before It's Too Late

By Iris Krasnow. (2007) 

Estrangement: The Secret That So Many Women Hide

Estrangement: The Secret That So Many Women Hide

Premiered July 6, 2021

Sixty and Me

https://youtu.be/CmAKWfUdAP8

The Impact of Early Emotional Neglect

The Impact of Early Emotional Neglect

July 31, 2018

The School of Life 

https://youtu.be/aymvX-OrlS0

https://youtu.be/aymvX-OrlS0?si=2EaiFFQ2exyWT9aI

COURAGEworks

 COURAGEworks

Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW is a research professor who studies courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy.

Check out her website and Facebook pages at COURAGEworks

https://www.courageworks.com/

What to Know About Depression in Older Adults

What to Know About Depression in Older Adults

Medically reviewed by Danielle Wade, LCSW — Written by Karen Sosnoski, PhD — Updated on April 29, 2022

https://psychcentral.com/depression/depression-commonly-strikes-seniors-other-vital-facts-about-depressed-seniors

Confessions of the Other Mother: Nonbiological Lesbian Moms Tell

Confessions of the Other Mother: Nonbiological Lesbian Moms Tell 

By Harlyn Aizley (editor), Sarah Beth Pfeifer (Narrator), Tantor Audio (Publisher). (2006)

Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child

Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child

By Michael C. LaSala, PhD. (2010) 

Can you process a trauma that you don't remember?

Can you process a trauma that you don't remember?

March 27, 2019

Irene Lyon, MSC 

 

https://youtu.be/dv7lOnbk03w

Ages and Developmental Stages of Grieving Children and Teens

 Ages and Developmental Stages of Grieving Children and Teens

Every child is different and their grief journey is unique. Each child responds to loss cognitively, emotionally, spiritually, and physically in their own way. However, use this chart as a general guide.

From: http://www.griefspeaks.com/id28.html

Infants
	Even infants can sense when something is disrupted in their world. Having a grief-stricken caretaker or having people around him or her who are grieving can be enough to affect them. Although they can't verbalize their grief, they often react by refusing to nap, increased night wakings, not eating well, irritability, excessive crying, increased need to be held and comforted, increased separation anxiety, and an overall change in their behavior. Always rule out any possible illness with the doctor, but if the baby has a clean bill of health, it may be safe to assume that he or she is reacting to grief.
What helps?
	Giving the infant extra comfort, by holding him or her more, perhaps in a baby sling or a front pack or backpack, even around the house. Rocking a baby can help to calm him, as well as playing calming music softly in the background. Try to feed him in a quiet place and not have too many distractions. Remember that he or she needs to feel secure and safe more now than ever. Talking in a softer voice is also helpful. The best thing is to take care of the caretaker and help the caretaker to feel supported and attended to so he or she can care for the infant.
Ages 2-4
	Children this age are egocentric naturally. They don't have the cognitive ability to understand death. They think death is reversible, not permanent. "I know Daddy died. Will he be at my birthday party next weekend?" A 3-year-old at a wake seeing his grandpa in a casket told him to "wake up now, that is enough sleep." May ask a lot of questions over and over again. Be patient and give factual information. No need for too many details. These children may regress, change their eating and sleeping patterns, wet their bed, be irritable and confused.
What helps?
	They need: short, honest interactions, comfort, reassurance, nurturing, and consistent routine.
Ages 4-7
	Gaining language, fantasy thinking, and wishing.  Concerns about guilt at this age. Death is still seen as reversible by many. Feel responsible because of wishes and thoughts. "It's my fault she died. I was mad at her and wished she would go away". Great book: I Know I Made it Happen. Questions about how, why. May act as if nothing happened. There may be general distress and confusion.
What helps?
	Provide them with terms for some of their feelings such as numb, grief, sadness. Death play is normal and helps children integrate the reality of the death. You can join in the play and offer guidance.

Page 2

 

Ages 7-11
	Self-confidence develops. Developing cognitive ability and logical thinking begins. Death is seen as a punishment. Fear of bodily harm and mutilation. Beginning to see death as final. They may ask specific questions. They want detail. Want to know the "right" way to respond. Starting to have the ability to mourn and understand mourning. Express grief through play. May "hang back" socially and scholastically. May see acting out, sleep, and appetite disturbance. Concern with body. May have desire to "join" the one who died.
What helps?
	Encourage expression of feelings. Answer questions. Explain options and allow for choices. Be available but allow alone time. Give physical outlets. TALK ABOUT IT! Children need permission to concentrate on mourning before they can be expected to forge ahead with the rest of their lives. Give them time. Offer "venting" alternatives. Support groups helpful.
Adolescents  12 & up
	They understand death cognitively, but are only beginning to grapple with it spiritually.  May protest the loss by acting out and/or withdrawing.  May feel life has been unfair to them, and act angry.  May act out a search for meaning.  May test own mortality. Problem solving and abstract thinking period. "Adult" approach. Work at making sense of teachings. Depression, regression common. More often willing to talk to people outside of family and seek peer support. Depression and anger common. Anger toward parents. Non-compliance. Rejection of former teaching. Role confusion, acting out.
What helps?
	Encourage verbalization. Do not take control! Encourage self-motivation. Listen! Be available. Do not attempt to take their grief away. Tolerate some acting out behaviors as long as teen or other isn't being hurt. Withdrawal is normal, in the short term (Long term withdrawal is a sign he/she may need extra help). A teen's normal egocentrism can cause him to focus exclusively on the effect the death had on him and his future. After he has had time to explore this, encourage him to consider the death's impact on the larger social group: family, friends, etc. Teens begin to really explore "why" questions about life and death. Encourage search for meaning unless it may harm the teen or others.